Sunday, April 25, 2010

four. twenty-five.ten.

If you had the ability to, would you go back and change some things? Would you go back to yourself when you were younger and warn yourself not to do this or that, or take back words you said that hurt someone else? Or would you just leave things the way they were?

Each and every person on earth has made a mistake, and has some things they would do differently. But honestly? I don't think I'd change anything, even if I had a chance to. Everything I've been through has made me, me. Every heartbreak, bad decision, ugly word, bad relationship, and more; they've made me who I am today. I've learned some hard lessons, but they've made me stronger. I'm not afraid anymore, like I used to be. I have the ability to love beyond any ability that I had before. I'm not scared of pain or heartache, I know I can handle it. Granted, not by myself, but I can handle it. I really believe that God plans our lives down to the tiniest, minute detail. I believe that he does things to show us how very much he loves us, and I think that in order to do that, he sometimes uses our circumstances. He loves us beyond belief, and he would never let anything happen to us that we couldn't handle. There's never 'chance' and 'coincidence' in God's world. Everything is meticulously planned. And how lucky we are to be a part of that plan!


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Winnie the Pooh(:

I learned some of life's greatest lessons from that silly old bear. I heard my favorite song by Pooh and Christopher Robin recently and it reminded me of the good old days. I miss those days, being a kid, wearing out the VHS tapes, and watching the Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Those are some of my most favorite memories. Here's the song, it's called Forever and Ever.

"Pooh, there’s something I have to tell you.
Is it something nice?
Not exactly.
Then it can wait.
It can? For how long?
Forever and ever.
Forever and ever is a very long time, Pooh.
Forever isn’t long at all when I’m with you.

I want to call your name forever
And you will always answer forever
And both of us will be
Forever you and me
Forever and ever

I want to stay like this forever
If only I could promise forever
And we could just be we
Forever you and me
Forever and ever

Forever and ever is a very long time, Pooh.
Forever isn’t long at all, Christopher, when I’m with you.

I want to be with you forever
I want you right here beside me forever
One thing you should know
No matter where I go
We’ll always be together
Forever and ever.”

For a bear of very little brain, that bear sure was smart. He said some brilliant things(:

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”

“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

“Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.”

“If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”

“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.”

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday.”

“I used to believe in forever, but forever is too good to be true.”

“A little Consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.”

“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

“People who don’t think probably don’t have brains; rather, they have grey fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake.”

“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.”

Silly, willy, nilly old bear<3


Thursday, April 22, 2010


Thursdays are my favorite days of the week. Wanna know why? Well I'll tell you.

1. It's one day away from Friday, which is one day away from the weekend! You have than anxious anticipation as the day you have waited for since the long monotonous Monday began. It just makes you smile!

2. It means you are officially over half way done with the week. What could be better?

3. I usually have band, and dance! Such a fun time. Tonight we got our first costume, our modern! I'm so excited, recital is just around the corner! Then summer classes!

I think dance is just an asset to any day. It's like, when I enter that studio, nothing else matters. I could have had the worst day possible, but somehow, I know it'll be okay. The rest of the world doesn't even come to mind. Nothing but dancing, and that little haven. No stress of what I have to do later that night, or of anything. It's just you and the music and the way it just takes you away from here. Dance & the family I've gained there has always been there for me, something I could stand on. Even in the roughest of spots, I could always count on it to stay the same, to be steady, a place to get away from everything else. I am definitely thankful that God gave me the ability to dance. I don't know what I'd do without it, and the people that come with it! Alan, Kate, Rachael, Kim, Sarah, Caroline, Ruthie... they are all my family. It's something far deeper than a friendship. Dance has given me sisters that will last a lifetime, and I couldn't be more thankful. Studio B is my home away from home, and my absolute love!

To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. ~Agnes De Mille


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

four. twenty. ten.

I'm laying down my will, walking away, and not looking back. I'm through holding onto bits and pieces of my life that I've somehow convinced myself that I am in control of. I control nothing, and never will. And I'm completely okay with that. Every single time I've tried to control my life, I end up messing things up worse than they were before. I'm done trying to do that, trying to please everyone else. In the end, they won't matter anyway. I'm going to spend my time worshipping, serving, and praising the God that I know to be real and true. The God that is my best friend, my daddy, the one I trust with absolutely everything. Do I understand why he loves me? No, I don't. But I will one day. And I'll do my best to be like him until then.

Last night, my mom's friend's husband Flip passed away after fighting cancer. I also found out today that Mrs. Flinchum's cancer has spread to her brain. Please keep both of them close to your heart and in your prayers. Love<3.

"When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
And I will worship you and give you thanks
Even when my only praise is a broken hallelujah"-Mandisa<3


Sunday, April 18, 2010

How Great is Our God

Well, I'm pretty bad at keeping this up. Sorry! But, today I actually have something to write about.

So Thursday and Friday, I had my thyrogen shots. Basically, thyrogen is just a big old shot of TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) that is usually made by your pituitary gland. TSH is made when you don't have enough thyroid hormone in your system and it makes your thyroid cells grow and make hormones. One of the proteins/hormones they make is called Thyroglobulin. So this shot makes my body think there is a great need for thyroid hormone, and if there are any thyroid cells, they produce thyroglobulin. Then 72 hours after my shot, aka tomorrow, I'll go in and have blood work and scans done. So that way they'll know if there are any thyroid cells left. The normal level for TSH in your body is from .5 to 5. They try to keep mine under one, because if there are any cells left, we don't want anything telling them to grow! But on Thursday they gave me a 9 and on Friday another 9. So, I have 18 right now where I'm used to having .7. Needless to say, I haven't been feeling too great. But, I've been worse! So I'm not complaining.

I had a crazy busy weekend! Saturday morning everyone from Mebane came down and we had our mission trip meeting from 10 to 12. I went from 10 to 11 and then had to run across town to get to school where we did 3 ballet dances for this community thing. We started dancing at 11:50 and ended at 12:15. I then ran down to the band room, threw on a dress over my ballet clothes, got my trumpet, warmed up, and went back to the community thing and played with the Jazz Band. FUN right? Haha. So after that massive push of exhaustion, I go shopping with Mom and Nana and Emma. When I got home, I mowed the front yard. It was worth the exhaustion that ensued. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Then today, I went to church and then our small group had an outing at the park. We had the best time ever! It was absolutely wonderful. I love those girls with my whole heart! Any time you spend time worshipping with someone, you become so much closer and everything is just all around better. They are my support system and my very best and closest friends.

I actually have a reason for the rambling above. It's to show you that this weekend, though fun, wasn't easy. I have some 'scan-xiety' for tomorrows scans. I know it's been four years, but you still feel it, ya know? And there's a lot of other stuff going on in my life that I'm definitely not going to blog about. But yesterday, one of the dances we were doing was 'How Great is our God'. It really hit me home yesterday, that song, because it reminded me that no matter how big my troubles seem, God is bigger. He's truly great and he's carried me though so much. Well, if that wasn't enough of a Godstop, we sang it this morning in youth! And our lesson was on how big God is and what makes him great. Part of what makes him so great is that he intervenes in our lives. He reminds us of his love. So that was another moment. Then, apparently my attention wasn't reached, so we sang it AGAIN in service! HOLY COW! God is just too cool. Seriously, though. God is great. He is holy, perfect, wonderful, and mighty. And he loves us. Why? I have no idea. But he does, each and every one of us. I'm so blessed to be so tiny and so loved. I've never been more thankful in my whole life.

How Great is Our God<3


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Relay For Life

It's almost time for one of my absolute favorite times of the year: Relay for Life! I absolutely love being a part of Relay. It's a cause that means the world to me, and it's something I want to give all of my efforts to fight for. This year, I'm blessed by being able to see more of what all goes on "behind the scenes" as a co-captain of a team. Kate Shugar and myself are leading the Fred T. Foard team this year. It's quite an experience to get to see what all goes into the planning and the fundraising and so much more. It's a huge deal. And, I'm proud to say, we are one of, if not the only, student-led group! Kate and I have been attending monthly meetings since January. It's SO encouraging to me to see so many people willing to come together to fight for such an amazing cause. I honestly hope that one day, Relay won't be necessary. One day, Cancer will be gone. No one else will have to hear those horrible words 'you have cancer' ever again. What a day that will be!

As I stand here with Relay only 37 days away, and my own annual cancer testing beginning tomorrow, I'm reminded once again why we need to fight back. I watch my best friend, Sarah, fighting every single day (but she's almost there! Scans for her tomorrow! Kick it, Sarah!), and I'm amazed by her. She's a hero, and she's fought for her life. I look at kids like Vinny DiGerolamo, a 6 year old who has been fighting for most of the years he's been alive, and Kate Thornton, a sweet little girl with ALL. I watch them and I'm reminded, not only how much I have to be thankful for, but also big of a deal Relay for Life is. Relay is about raising money for kids just like them all over the world. It's more than just a fun event, or service hours. It's a chance to come together, even for one night, and fight against something that's taken so many lives. Cancer isn't a choosy disease. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor, famous or unknown, old or young. Cancer can hit anyone at any time. A WORLD WITH LESS CANCER IS A WORLD WITH MORE BIRTHDAYS. One more candle, one more present, one more day.

This is what I fight for. For all the people, no matter who they are, that have ever heard the words 'you have cancer'. For all the ones who have fought, and won! And for all those who lost their battle. But most importantly, I fight for those still fighting. For those still out there on the front lines, fighting for what so many take for granted: their own life.

The main purpose of Relay is to raise money for the American Cancer Society. They use this money in a variety of ways, including telephone services (help lines, information lines, etc), housing for cancer patients, and most importantly, cancer research. ACS has had a hand in just about every major cancer breakthrough in the last century. It's vital that we continue to help them with funding. If you can, PLEASE get involved in some way. There are so many ways you can be involved, from donating money, to just donating your time! If you would like to help but don't know how, please contact me! I'll be glad to help!

Catawba County's Relay for Life will be held on May 21st at Southside Park in Newton. Please come and join us as we Celebrate, Remember, and Fight Back. One World, One Hope. Together, we can do this. Together, lets create a world with More Birthdays!


Monday, April 12, 2010


There's always a reason to smile. Always. Even on one of the darkest days, there's something good you can pull out. There's some sort of silver lining to every single cloud. And more often than not, someone else out there has it worse off than you do. I once heard a quote that said, "when the world gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show them you have a thousand reasons to smile" It may not be a thousand, but here is some of the reasons I have to smile today(:

1. So today was pretty much great. I know, it was the first day after spring break, but still.

2.I have the most amazing friends ever. I love all of them very dearly!

3.Today, Jacob brought me back a bracelet from his cruise! It's purple (my favorite color!) and it has my name on it! I love it! Thanks, Jacob!

4. I got to see everyone at dance tonight! They are like my second family

5. Beautiful weather today... summer is coming!

6. I can hear the laugh of others, which makes me happy

7. I am a member of the best band ever, and I love them all dearly.

8. I've been told happy looks good on me, so why not!

9. I had a great Bible Study this morning dealing with friendship! It was a definite Godstop, because we just talked about friendship last night in youth!

10. I have wonderful mentors. Many people who I can look up to and trust, which is a huge blessing.

11. I've got people who care and just want to see me succeed.

12. It's Monday, which is one day closer to the weekend!

13. I got to see Sarah for the first time in a few weeks!

14. Smiling cost me nothing, but gives others a great gift.

15. I'm loved. By people, but more importantly, by a God who stands beside me and guides me in all I do. I'm tiny, and full of sin, but he saves me and forgives me. He's a huge God who still takes his time to listen to me. How can that not make you smile?!

16. I love. I love my family, my friends, and my God. By giving that love, I receive an even greater gift and blessing.

17. I have a great family. They love me and are here for me if I ever need them. They love me unconditionally. That kind of love isn't just found everywhere. I know I'm blessed to be raised in a home like I am.

18. It makes me feel better to smile. Smiling shows joy, and by showing joy, I also receive it.

19. You're never fully dressed without a smile.

20. Life's great. Sure, it's full of twists and turns and unexpected happenings. Some things are good, others aren't. Some things we love, others we don't. But overall, I love this life. This crazy, hectic, beautiful life. It's a blessing to wake up every morning and experience it!

I heard the song 'Smile' by Uncle Kracker the other day, and I fell in love with it. I think it definitely describes the way I feel right now...(:

"You make me smile like the sun,
Fall out of bed,
Sing like a bird,
Dizzy in my head,
Spin like a record,
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool,
Forget how to breathe,
Shine like gold,
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile"



Sunday, April 11, 2010


What is it really to be courageous and brave? I don't think that courage is being unafraid. I think courage is being afraid, and having fears, but doing things in spite of them. I think courage is having doubts, but moving beyond them. Maybe sometimes it's braver to cry than to hold everything in. I wrote this a few months ago, but it kind of fits where I'm at now. Hope you like it? (:


What is it really
To be strong, brave, true?
Is it being what the world wants
Or is it just being you?

Is fearless really
Being completely unafraid
Or is fearless maybe
Being scared, but acting anyway

Maybe it’s stronger
To try love one more time
Than it would be
To just run and hide

Maybe it’s braver
To let out the tears
Than it would be
To keep them in with your fears

Maybe it’s truer
To trust and to hope
To wish on a dream
Instead of worry and mope

Maybe it’s stronger
To fight for what’s right
Again and again and again
Even if you’ve failed fifty times

Maybe it’s braver
To finally let go
Of things you’ve been holding
That left long ago

Maybe it’s truer
To dream bigger dreams
Because you really never know
No matter how it seems

Maybe it’s stronger
To completely fall apart
You never know what will happen
When you show someone your heart

Maybe it’s braver
To accept that you don’t know
To live with the fact
You’ll figure it out as you go

Maybe it’s truer
To accept your mistakes
Then come back even stronger
If that’s what it takes

So what is it really
To be strong, brave, and true?
It isn’t being what the world wants
It’s just being you.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Leaky Pipes, Lawn Mowers, and Birthday Cake Ice Cream.

Well, today was interesting to say the least! I woke up and went to Zumba, dance class, and lunch with my most amazing not-so-big-big-sister Kelsey!

Then when I got home, I decided I would mow the yard. So I go down stairs and roll the lawn mower out of the garage. I go to fill it up with gas, since it was empty from last week when I mowed, and end up spilling it not only all over the lawn mower, but myself as well. How did I manage that? I still don't know. So I get that cleaned up, and I go looking for the headphones I use while I'm mowing (they weren't in the place I usually put them). While I was looking, I could have sworn I felt something wet hit my head. I thought, "What in the world? It wasn't supposed to rain today!" Yeah, I know. I was inside. That didn't occur to me until I looked up and saw the pipe above me dripping, instead of a little black rain cloud(: The pipe was right above my dad's tool box, which was completely flooded. I got a step-stool and set a bucket on it to catch the drippy water, threw some towels on the floor, called dad and forewarned him so he could check it when he got home, and finally found my headphones. Lo and behold, they are dead! So I go all the way back upstairs, find the batteries, replace them, and head back down stairs. I finally get to the mower (45 minutes after planned 'begin mowing' time), and I go to crank it. It is also dead, it appears. So I just gave up, rolled the mower back inside, and waited on Dad to get home. Super Dad jumped the battery, but nothing happened. Super Dad checked the engine, but nothing was wrong. Around that time, Mom got home, and Super Dad had Mom use her car battery to try and jump the mower. Again, nothing happened. Finally, Super Mom figures out that the blade was set to 'ON', so the mower would not start. Super Mom: 1 Super Dad/Sarah:0(:

But, Dad gained his Super points back when he got me an entire container of Birthday Cake Ice Cream at the store! (:

Oh! I almost forgot! Good News Moment of the day: My ultrasound was clear! Dr. Parker ordered an ultrasound of my neck which I had done last Tuesday afternoon. They have never ordered one before, but apparently it didn't really matter. Everything is good to go! Now, we wait for Thyrogen and blood work in two weeks. But we're one step closer to cancer-free! (:

Toodles! (:


Friday, April 9, 2010


So, I've never really blogged before. But I've read blogs, and I loved them, so I thought I'd try my own hand at it! I pretty much know that no one will probably read it, but hey, it'll still be fun(:

Just a heads-up from the beginning, I'm imperfect. The only way that anything good could ever come from me is by the grace of God. And by the way, I'm absolutely in love with the God I serve. He died so that I might live. Because of that, everything changes. The way I look at things, approach things, and do things is all different now that I am a member of His kingdom. I'm striving every day to move towards Him, but I mess up. I mess up a lot more frequently than I'd ever like to admit. But that's also part of the beauty of it. Even though I mess up, He keeps on loving me, doesn't give up on me, and forgives me for my mistakes. Being part of a love like that changes you. Well, it changed me, and I couldn't be more thankful!

Today was pretty great, I must admit! I spent the day at Carowinds with my second family, the McCormacks. And I got to meet some famous people, too!

That's right(: Don't be jealous!

This year marks 60 years of the Peanuts Gang. How exciting is that?! I love the Peanuts, and they have always been a wonderful part of my childhood memories. Not a Halloween or Thanksgiving or Christmas goes by that we don't pull out the Peanuts Videos. They have withstood the test of time! Happy 60th, Peanuts gang(: