Tuesday, March 29, 2011
If I ever have a daughter, one of the first things I am going to do is to buy her a pair of rain boots because I want her to learn from the very beginning that life isn't about simply getting through, but rather dancing in the rain.
I'm going to teach her how to play ball because goodness knows she's going to get enough curveballs in her lifetime.
And one day, when she's wondering about the meaning of life, I'm going to answer her with one word: Moments. I'm going to tell her that life is about savoring and stringing together every single moment to create a lifetime worth remembering.
I'm going to make sure she knows that even though people will hurt her, mislead her, and betray her, she must keep loving and trusting and forgiving, for relationships are what life is made of.
And Babygirl, I'll tell her, sometimes you have to sit through the dark to understand how breathtaking the light really is.
And when she reaches the age of princesses and pirate ships and fairies and big dreams, I'm going to tell her to hold on to that. Keep that wonder and imagination, and don't you dare let anyone take it from you.
Because people will try to hand you terrible things like cynicism, war, bitterness, and hate, but you just keep holding on to that joy you have when you turned five years old.
Don't ever apologize for being who you are. Your eyes are wide and bright and your smile is beautiful and even though your voice may be small, never stop speaking out, because that's what makes you who you are.
There will be things that break, but that's why I'll always keep an ample supply of bandaids, duct tape, and ice cream because there is nothing that can't be fixed by those three.
Okay, maybe there are a couple of things that can't be fixed by those three but that's why I've always kept the rain boots around because "the rain has this beautiful way of washing away everything if you let it."
I hope she always knows that she's a superhero, but even the best superheroes don't have to wear the cape alone.
And she's going to try to fix things for everyone, but I'm going to tell her no matter how far you stretch out your arms they will never be long enough to hold all of that pain that you want to heal.
Belive me, I've tried.
I'm going to tell her to always be the kind of friend she wants to gain because only then will she gain the type of friends she wants to be.
I'm going to buy her a pair of ballet shoes because I want her to know that life is much more fun when you begin dancing through it.
Baby, I'll say, I hope that you know how very long I've waited to see your face. People may say that they knew you before you were even thought about but that isn't true because you've always been a part of me; you've been somewhere in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember.
There will be days that seem messy, but I want her to understand that happiness isn't about having everything be perfect but rather accepting the things that aren't and will never be.
And finally, I'm going to hold her close and I'm going to make sure that above all else in this world... above all of the life-lessons, and joyful moments... I want her to know that she is
So. Very. Loved.
at 8:30 PM
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Now, don't get me wrong. Wednesday's are usually pretty fabulous. They start out with breakfast with my friends at a church near our school, and end with my church family. And tonight was especially fabulous because I got to spend some great time with one of my very favorite people ever! But goodness, I'm TIRED. I'm in some serious need of a break. Monday I was at school until 7:30, then dance until 8:30. Then yesterday I got my hair cut, then was at dance until 8:30, then at Logan's working on a Chem project until 10. Today was church until 8:30. Tomorrow and Friday are work until 9. Saturday is my cousins wedding in Raleigh all day (excitement!!!! :D :D ), and Sunday is Fx Sunday. All fun stuff, but taxing. I heard this Darius Rucker song today, and it just fit with where I am. Here's the chorus:
‘Cause I need some front porch rocking
Some back road walkin
Some sitting around and talk about nothin
I need some screen door slammin
Some homemade jam and
Some biscuits cookin in the oven
I need a little fun with my little one
A little gospel on Sunday
I need some hanging around
In my little town
In a big way
Well friends, I hope you are having some rest-filled days! And if you have a little extra energy, please send it my way! Thanks(: Love you!
Monday, March 21, 2011
This isn't the actual song, but it's an interview with one of Hillsong's worship leaders. It's amazing, and really uplifting. This song really hits home for me, and it's one of my all time favorites. I'll put the lyrics under this. Please go find it, and listen to the words. You'll be blessed, I pinky.
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow
at 9:46 PM
Sunday, March 20, 2011
So I created this blog as kind of a journal, a way to keep pictures and quotes and verses and things all in one central location where I'd always know where they were at. It's kind of evolved into more than that though, and it's become a place where I feel I can really share my heart. Now, do I have any clue who may read this one day? No. I don't know who reads this thing now, or if anyone reads this thing now. I'm probably babbling to myself, but that's okay with me. Anyways, in order for someone to really share their heart with you, they simply cannot just share the sunshine-y days. Because that's not all of who people are. I mean, it's all I am, because I'm perfect and all, but I imagine most people have hard days, difficult seasons, times when everything seems to be falling apart. But I bet you don't either, do you? I didn't think so. We're a lot alike, us perfect people.
But seriously, these next couple of posts are going to be me really sharing my heart with you. These past several weeks have been some of the most trying I've had in a very, very long time. No, it hasn't been anything catastrophic, but it's been hard. I've been hurting, upset, broken, angry, lonely, sad... you name it, I've probably felt it within the last several days, not to mention weeks.
Here lately, I've been super-duper busy. I leave at 7:15 in the morning, and I don't get home until 9 or 9:30 every. single. night. I'm pretty much involved in every single thing possible, from jazz band to dance to church to work to trying to have some minute semblance of a social life... it's taxing, for sure. Well, yesterday I spent my day in Mebane. For those of you that don't know where that is, it's right on the outskirts of Raleigh, about an hour on the other side of Winston from Hickory, NC. It's tiny, and it's fabulous my second home and a much needed getaway. We had a mission trip meeting that started at 10 and went to 12. While we were there (it was our first meeting for the 2011 trip) we did a get-to-know-you thing where you had to put a screen name, favorite song, and favorite Bible verse on a card. Well, those answers aren't hard for me anymore, I put the same ones every time. Screen name? Duckaloo. Favorite song? Hurricane-Jimmy Needham. Verse? There's two: Exodus 14:14 and John 16:33. As I wrote those things down, it hit me full in the face. How many times have I heard that song, and those verses? I know them both by heart. But still, here I am, sitting here refusing to believe and apply the truths that are within them. The first verse is Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." This hits me hard, especially right now. I'm facing a lot of battles ahead of me, and God's willing to take the reigns and fight for me, but before He can, I've got to stop and be still. I need to let something go. I have to. Anyways. The next is John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." In the midst of everything, God's there. He knows our hearts, and that we'll have a hard time sometimes, but He still loves us. And as long as we trust Him, we have a hope in something much higher than our troubles could ever be. How refreshing. Finally, my song. Hurricane by Jimmy Needham has been my favorite and most played song for quite some time. It's become my prayer. I know that sometimes, we have to go through some tough storms in order for God to use us effectively. The chorus says "I need you like a hurricane, thunder crashing, wind, and rain, to tear my walls down. I'm only yours now. I need you like a burning flame, a wildfire untamed, to burn these walls down, I'm only yours now." This song is a prayer I offer up so many times, and in two ways. I pray that God will give me the strength to get through the storms, because I understand the fact that He will use it. But I also pray that I'll take whatever it is He needs to do to use me with grace and dignity. "If you are the war, let me be your casualty: I am yours alone, Lord." I pray my life is this way, forever and ever. Amen.
at 11:32 PM
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Well I know I'm not ready to die but I've
Sure thought about the meaning of life
Cause I can't seem to find a purpose for me
It's just the choices and I fail to proceed
I gotta get up, get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up, get up
I hear voices in my mind, one's the devil, one's Jesus
I can feel it, can you help me find the pieces
Like an angel on my shoulder you hold the
Joy in the Lord, raising up a soldier
You gave me the song my mom used to sing in church
I promised not to quit and I remembered the words
I promised not to quit and I remembered the words
Every time you run
Every time you hide
Every time it hurts
Every time you cry
Every time you run away
Every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away
I'm right here
Goodness, I'm so thankful for that fact. Especially on the lonely, difficult, long days. I'm so thankful that He keeps holding me, even (and especially) when I give up.
at 9:14 PM
Monday, March 7, 2011
This month in Orange Ministry, our virtue is Courage. (Let me pause here for a second and just tell you that the the virtue of courage being placed in this exact time is no mistake and one of the biggest smack-in-the-face Godstops I've ever experienced... but that's a story for another day). Now, I know you are just dying to know what courage is, right? COURAGE is doing what you know you should do, even when you're afraid. This Sunday, we made courage card rings with a couple of verses to help us when we need to have courage. In order to finish out my own personal ring, I went in search of some other verses pertaining to courage, and I found tons. Here are a few of my favorites:
John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world."
Joshua 1:5-9 "All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you."
Mark 6:50-52 Jesus was quick to comfort them: "Courage! It's me. Don't be afraid." As soon as he climbed into the boat, the wind died down. They were stunned, shaking their heads, wondering what was going on. They didn't understand what he had done at the supper. None of this had yet penetrated their hearts.
And Finally, our verse of the month! It's only 56:3, but I finished it out.
Psalm 56:3-4 Take my side, God—I'm getting kicked around, stomped on every day. Not a day goes by but somebody beats me up; They make it their duty to beat me up. When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. I'm proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God. What can mere mortals do?
What are you facing today? It could be nearly anything. I know life gets hard sometimes, and I know there are days when nothing seems to go right. But please, please hear me out. Everything WILL be okay. God's there, and he loves you more than you'll ever know. Rest in His truth, and let Him fill you with courage. He'll help you through, I promise.
P. S. I'm not even going to lie, these past few weeks have been some of the most difficult/busy weeks I've had in a very, very long time. As I said earlier, I plan to catch this up later, when I have some more time. So, if posts are scarce, now you know why. All 2 of you who occasionally catch up on this thing(: Haha. Thanks, and love you!
at 11:36 PM
Thursday, March 3, 2011
"This is your Life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, all emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Life is simple. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them. So go out and start creating. Life is short. Live your dream, and wear your passion."
at 6:49 AM