Saturday, February 1, 2014

January the thirty-first.

I guess blogging isn't really my strong suit or anything. I'm kind of a sporadic blogger. I'm thinking about starting another blog that will be a tad bit more organized. But who am I kidding? Me? Organized? Yeah, okay. Haha. I think I'm just going to ramble a little about my life now. So listen if you wanna, I wouldn't mind. (:

1. Things are going pretty well for me right now. Hectic, and I'll probably end up losing my mind before the end of the semester, but hey, that's what college is all about right? Well, kind of. Right now, I currently:
- Am in 18 credit hours of classes that include, but are not limited to: Intro to Writing Across the Curriculum, ASL I, Modern Dance (my PE), World Literature for Children, Math for the Elementary School Teacher, and Health Education in the Elementary Schools. Sounds riveting, no?
-Am working a lot of hours at several jobs that include, but are not limited to: Weight Room Attendant, Facility Supervisor (all 3 gym facilities), Console Attendant (2 of 3 gym facilities), Group Fitness Instructor, and Tutor of General Interdisciplinary Studies and Diversity Scholars.
-Am trying to maintain some semblance of a social life. Weird. But I'm trying.
-Am involved in the really awesome music ensemble of Concert Band. Love playing my trumpet again!

So yeah. That's the logistics of life right now. It's a little crazy, and I'm a tad bit overwhelmed. But it is also a lot of fun. I am meeting a ton of new people and getting to experience many new things. I have made a lot of new friends and that's been a really cool experience.

For the month of January, I've been trying to really focus more on taking better care of myself. I really just changed some small things, but I feel so much better. I am eating cleaner, consuming more raw foods and less sauce-covered, fat-saturated things. My body is running more efficiently and I can tell a huge difference. I am not as lethargic and I have a lot more energy in just daily tasks. That's been nice. This is not to say that I have not eaten a cheeseburger all month. Because I most definitely have. I mean, can you blame me? I live within driving distance of Comeback Shack. Haha.

But! I am exercising much more often, and more efficiently. I am lifting and cardio-ing it up! I have a new-found love for my body. I mean, it does so many cool things! It's fun to take care of it so that it can keep on doing cool things! I've really changed my mentality when it comes to exercise, and that's been most helpful. I think better, and I work better. Mental health matters just as much!

So overall, life is pretty good. Crazy, but it keeps me young. I'm trying to write a bit more, and I'm taking a bit of a rest from some other social media. So hopefully I'll be hanging out here a bit more. Light and love, dear.

-S.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

January the twenty-first.

Hi, lovely.

I hope that today is bright for you.
And if it is not, I hope that it is at least filled with rains that wash deep
Cleansing, healing, whole.

I feel like a majority of the world is grasping at straws.
Especially on days like today.
I must apologize for my scattered words
But no matter how hard I try and focus I just keep going back.
Have you ever had your heart broken?

You see, the movies... they all tell you that love is great.
They tell you love is beautiful.
They say it will heal your brokenness.
And I guess a piece of that is true.

But what they don't tell you is that love hurts.
It hurts because it matters.
It cuts deep, exposes raw, bleeding places.
It opens up parts of you that you've kept guarded your entire life.
That's what love does.

We portray her as a lovely brunette
Wrapped tight in scarlet, sipping coffee in the quaintest of coffee shops
But my dear, that isn't love at all.
That's hope. You should really visit her.
She is lovely. She has important things to say.
But that is for another poem.

Oh, Love.
Love is the girl who seems a little crazy at first.
The girl who jumps off of rooftops and hangs from trees.
Love is the girl who goes to hospitals and the girl who talks for hours on end.
That's love.

Love is the girl who cries because it's just too much right now
And the girl who sees the brokenness and feels it deep
Sees and feels all as one deep aching motion.
Inhale, exhale.
Love.

Love is kindness without the jewelry, formality.
Love is beauty in the messiest of pieces.
Love is seeing not shattered glass but mosaic pieces.
Love is taking the time, accepting the cuts
Gluing the pieces together to make a new masterpiece.
That's love.

And we choose her. She wins.
Over and over and over. She wins.
We can try to turn our backs and we can close ourselves off
But trust me, my dear, she wins.
She cups her hands and catches the tears
She wins.

You can try to choose loneliness.
The girl with the long grey dress, standing off to the side of the party.
You can say you're 'better off doing things by yourself'
But, sweet, you can't fool her. Not Love.
See, she knows. And she doesn't let loneliness stay.

Love looks at you and sees not missing pieces
Love sees windows
Places where the light comes in.
Love sees the mosaic in process and hugs you close
Hang on, dear, hang on because it's going to be beautiful
Just give her time. She'll heal you.

Trust her. When she tells you to give her away, trust her.
I know you want to hold her close, I do.
It's hard because when you experience her
You want her to stay with you forever
But, darling, you have to let her go.
She'll come back. Just trust her.

So let the love go.
Sometimes, that means letting the heart break
Over and over and over again, my dear
Because you have to keep breaking it until it opens.
Open. Make space for the sunshine.
Make friends with the hope wrapped in scarlet.

Trust her, sweet heart. Trust Love.
Let her fill and empty you.
Embrace her. Even when it hurts and seems like
She's making the wrong decision over and over and it hurts.
When you think that it loneliness is much better company
When Hope seems to be on vacation
When you've just had enough
Trust Love. Get to know her.
I promise, you won't regret it.

-S.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

January the ninth.

Today is enough.

I keep whispering this to myself over and over, as rhythmic as the exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide in my lungs. Today is enough. Today is enough. Today is enough.

The longer I am in this thing... this life... this mess of moments blurred together mixing joy with sorrow and courage with fear... the more I realize that every single second counts. Every one.

Breathing in, breathing out, sipping some coffee and watching the steam rise, rubbing sleep from squinting eyes, letting a sunrise be overwhelmingly beautiful, reading word after word of a book, tv shows and movies, reading this post... it counts, it counts, it counts. It matters, and it is enough.

When I realize that life is constructed of these microscopic moments, I realize how much each of them count. And the way I think begins to really change.

Each moment that you make a decision, I am proud of you.
And if the decision you made wasn't the one you needed to make, hold on tight because another moment is right around the corner and you get to construct it.

I have let it sink in that we can't always choose where we come from. We can't go back and change moments that have passed. But we get to choose where we go from here. We get to choose what we do from now until the end of eternity. And that, to me is amazing.

I like to think of life as this big, long line. There is a dot at the beginning of this line, and that dot is the very first day. But it's important to remember that the dot can occur anywhere. Because being brave enough to start over allows you to have a new first day. When I picture my life-line, I think God probably chuckles at it. There are so many dots, you probably can't even see the line at all! Because I have the power to start over. And over. And over. I have the power to say that today is the first day of the rest of my life and I am thankful, because I get to choose where I go from here.

Realizing the power that each moment holds is overwhelming. Every single second has the ability to be a dot on your line. And that's pretty cool.

But just because each moment counts, it doesn't mean that it isn't enough. That if you don't pack it to it's fullest, you are missing out. The moments spent inspecting shorelines for shells are just as vital to living as the moments forgiving a wound inflicted 20 years ago. The moments taking Sunday afternoon naps are equally as full as the moments standing on the top of a mountain.

There are many moments where we as humans have to take care of ourselves. We have to go to jobs and pay taxes and buy groceries and go to the dentist. Sometimes, these moments may go by without us noticing, or really fully acknowledging their existence. But believe me, darling, when I tell you that they are enough. They are beautiful and full and they absolutely matter. They are enough.

The decisions you can make today are enough.
The life you can live today is enough.
The moment when you choose to begin the first moment of the rest of your life is coming and oh, how beautiful it will be. It will be enough.

You are enough. The day you are living is enough. You are beautiful and wonderful and you are enough. Let the moments come. Embrace them. Start over when you need to, place the dot.

Today is enough.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

January the second.

I am not a writer.

But, I do long to reach deep into the chasm of my soul and grasp the tiny shards and bring them to life. I look hard for the pretty ones but sometimes, the sun shines best on the pieces with the exposed edges, the ones that I dread bringing forth. I want to hold your hand, I want you to understand that I care deeply, achingly for you. I crave for you to listen deep, listen wide, grasp tight to the hand that holds us both. Oh, my heart aches for you, my sweet one. For us. For you see, we do this together, this life. I shudder at the word. Excited nerves shiver down lengths of vertebrae, but also frightening black edges crowd in around the fireworks. The salty sweetness, the bitterness mixed with the depths of joy. The daisy petals and the crackling leaves. Oh, it's beautiful. The ocean full of experience and though we marvel, though we see at a distance, we long to be caught up in the waves.

There are so many things to say to you. So many words to link together and spin into beautiful gowns of sentences that take your breath away as they fall from lips like shooting stars. But oh how they stick. My gowns have missing stitches and holes and pieces of dust woven in. I apologize if it takes from the beauty of it all. My throat is full of ideas and thoughts and things you need to know and my fingers cannot find these keys fast enough. I want to tell you that you are brave and strong and beautiful and that there are galaxies inside of every inch of you and if you open your heart it is true that the love there will escape from you but it is through that hole that light will flood in and that love that you let go will find the crack that formed when her dad walked away when she was seven and though you don't even know her name you helped her on her journey. And if you let people, they can mend your cracks too. I want you to know that you are made of stars and the sea and that the nervous nail-biting four-year-old that lives in your heart is perfectly normal and acceptable and that as you grow older you merely gain numbers, not lose the previous ones. So really, you are 8 and 7 and 6 and 5 and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1 all wrapped up in 9. Like a tree you add layer after layer and some layers show storms and others show drought but goodness how beyond beautiful you are. Inhaling with arching spine, oak trunk withstanding the hurricane, holding safe memory and life. That's something that people forget to tell you. Four-year-old you will always exist and sometimes it is completely and totally fine to go visit them. I want to sit across from you, coffee in hand, and tell you about mistakes and heartbreaks and broken promises and destroyed friendships and how time has a way of changing things but that doesn't make memories less beautiful, and if you let it, time will eventually change the pain too. I want to peel back the layers and show you that I understand your pain and though I cannot heal, I can hold, and if you let me I promise you I will hold on as tightly as you need me to. I want to tell you that it's completely okay to love him. Love him for as long and as deeply as you want to. This life is going to be what you make it and no one else can choose the steps that you will take. That can be terrifying and exhilarating. But trust me when I say that taking steps is worth it. Even the ones that lead you in a different direction than you had planned. Especially those. Take them and embrace them. Fling wide your arms and leap. Even if it is over a puddle. I want you to know that holding on is okay. Keeping things clenched tight in your fists is fine. This is the exact opposite of what you have heard your entire life and I am well aware but I want you to hear me out. I want you to relax in your comfy chair opposite mine with this fireplace between us and I want you to get lost in thought for a moment as you count the things you know you are holding on to. Keep them. Hold tight and squeeze until your knuckles are the color of the snow falling outside our window. Just know that it can't be a permanent situation. But trust your timing. When you are ready, you will release them. And often, you won't even remember doing so, and when you look back to find where you dropped it, the horizon will have swallowed it whole. Those are some of the most glorious moments. Don't forget to cherish those. Bask in those sunsets that throw beauty over things left behind, and look forward into the horizon of tomorrow's sunrise as you continue. And you must continue. That is most important of all. You must keep going, stretching, growing, learning, moving. Never stop being excited by the things that surround you as you move through this glorious day. And then tomorrow, renew that excitement again. And again. And again. Let it be new. Let it be amazing. Let yourself bubble over with giddiness and dance around your kitchen making breakfast. Giggle, even when no one else is in the room to hear you. Play music and wear that perfume you've been saving. I want to tell you to look people in the face when you meet them. Let them see your smile, and always assure that your eyes hold tenderness. Be genuine. Cross your fingers for luck and wish on stars if that is what you want to do. Don't let anyone tell you that part of you, or any part of you for that matter, is wrong. When you are hurt, do not be afraid to let the tears spill over and do not hide. Take the hand that is offered to you. The human heart longs for goodness, and helping another is a joy you rob someone of every time you turn from them. Let them be a shoulder for the tears and deep, deep breaths. The time will come to pay that forward, and you will understand. Always seek advice from those around you, for everyone you will ever meet in your life will know something that you do not. Do not ever forget that, either. When you get bored, draw a monster. Then ask yourself over and over, what makes this a monster? Find the monsters under your bed and in your closet and get to know them. Find out who they are and where they come from and one day, they may not seem quite so frightening. Make lists, make goals, and strive to be the person that you want to be. One inching step in the right direction is a thousand times better than a leap in the wrong one. I want you to take too many pictures and do the thing you have always longed to do. You will not regret that. But you may regret it if you do not. Chase your dreams and believe in yourself. Give yourself grace and grace and then, more grace. God does not withhold it so neither should you. Learn to be brave enough to start over. And over. And over. Make yourself, you were born to create.

I want to tell you so many things but if I have learned anything while I have been placing fingerprints on this planet it is this: that words fail. When the pain cuts deep and when the joy is overflowing, words fail. They fail over and over and over. But string them together anyway. String them together like clumsy toddler fingers and wooden beaded necklaces. Always place a knot between them because that way when something breaks, and it inevitably will, the whole thing doesn't unravel. String together those small moments and I promise you that it will overwhelm the bad things. Make that strand count for more than the bad things and take the day for what it is: the only guarantee you have. Treat it like it is your first, and your last. And then, my love, then you will experience life in an entirely new way.

I long to cup your sweet face in my hands and lean in close. Even if I say nothing else, if all you remember from our time together is one thing, I want to look in your eyes and tell you this: I want you to know that you are valued, wonderful, and entirely whole precisely as you are in this very second of time that we occupy together. Always be humble in gratitude and bless others by the armful. People are worth it, and no matter what happens, love will always win. Always.

Love,
Sarah

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 Survey!

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

I did a few things I'd never done before! I taught my very own group fitness class, I learned a lot about music, I met a ton of new people. I worked hard at the amazing opportunity to be drum major. I learned how to properly weight lift. I played racquet ball. I watched all 9 seasons of The Office. I kept track of every book I read. I loved harder than I ever had in the past.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I actually kind of did. My new years goals from last year were pretty generic, so it was not too terribly hard to better myself in some of the areas that I mentioned. But I'm actually really proud of myself and the strides I did make this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I knew several people who had sweet little ones this year. I am so excited for them as they begin their own journeys!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My heart was heavy for several who lost special ones this year. But they are getting to spend 2014 in heaven and that's pretty awesome.

5. What countries did you visit?

I stuck it out here in good ol' America. But next year... ENGLAND! :D

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

I want to strive to continue to be. I want to take leaps and be genuine and work hard. I want to fall in love with being alive and I want to give and serve and love more than ever before. I want to have a depth in relationships that I haven't had until now.

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 13- Governor's Inaugural Parade
January 22- Maya Angelou came to Boone!
March 15- I decided to try again. I got hurt, but I proved to myself that I could love. I will love.
May 2- I got Drum Major!
June 1-8- Destin with the family!
July 5-13- Arnoldsburg!
July 27- Hickory flooded. Flooded in at Courtneys!
August 7- Moved back to Boone for band camp!
August 20- First day of sophomore year!
August 21- First cardio dance of the new semester!
September 4- Nana turns 90!!
September 7- My first game day as a drum major!
September 9- I found this quote: "I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don't feel like it, pay compliments, chase a kid's runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are- particularly when it's difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it's done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain ("I'm not a big one for paying compliments..."), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more Gene Kelly dancing in the rain."-Jonathan Carroll
September 28- Nana came to an App game!
October 13- Met Scotty McCreery at the App Game!


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think it would be learning how to become someone that I want to be. And learning how to give grace, and accept love and gratitude. Learning how to believe in myself and rely on myself and stand on my own two feet. Also, probably maintaining sanity and loving others through times when I didn't even feel like I was worthy of love.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I think probably not investing in things that are long lasting. I invested a lot in people, but I want 2014 to be more invested in giving and loving and living long term.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I got sick PLENTY of times, but nothing too terribly serious. Hopefully, I won't have to worry about that one in 2014 either. Fingers crossed!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Things for other people. Be it small gifts or meals or whatever, investing that into someone and letting them know that they are important to you is what matters!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

So many people. Those who faced some of the most difficult circumstances I could ever imagine and are still around to see 2014. Those who held me when I couldn't keep going on my own, and those who did amazing things and constantly decrease world suck. Those people deserve more than the world. I am so proud to say that I know them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled?

It's sad how many people appall me. But. Humans are humans and sometimes we don't understand the promises we make when we make them. Being a human shouldn't be this difficult of a circumstance. Just be kind. It's not that hard.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Probably Comeback Shack. And really, Boone in general.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Spending time with my sweet family. My Nana's wonderful birthday. Every single time I was lucky enough to dance with my HG family, or my URec family. Learning ASL. Dinner with my wonderful friends. Moving in a positive direction.

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

Stinking 'Wrecking Ball'. And not for good reasons. -____-

17. Compared to this time last year, are you (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

(a) MUCH much much much happier. Yayayayay! (b) slightly thinner. Moving in a positive direction! (c) Richer... I got a job! Haha.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Laughed. Spent more time doing things with people and making time for fun things in my life.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Stressed over school work. Stressed period. Worried. Let life pass without active engagement.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With a lot of people in our house, which is nice. Good to feel the loving.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?

I did. And out of love. I got hurt. But I learned how to love myself. And that's something that you can't put a price on.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

New Girl. The Office. SYTYCD

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't this time last year?

Nope. There are some people I don't really talk to much that I did this time last year. But that's okay with me. I don't hate, though. That crap will destroy you.

24. What was the best book you read?

The Fault in Our Stars will always be the best. But I read a ton of good books this year. If you need some recommendations, hit me up!

 25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Zac Brown's new album. Or The Script's new album.

26. What did you want and get?

I wanted to become a better version of myself. And here I am.

27. What did you want and not get?

To successfully learn a few lessons. But never fear. They are a work in progress.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Between Frozen and Saving Mr. Banks, I think

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

HG, same as always. They are my family, my best friends, and one of the few things I can count on in this world. I love those people more than I could ever put into words.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Does She Even Own Real Clothes or is She an Actual Hermit.

31. What kept you sane?

HG. URec Group Fitness. A couple of really amazing people.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most.

Ben & Jerry.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

There were several. But mostly how we choose to focus on menial things that mean nothing when there are a thousand things that matter to discuss.

34. Who did you miss?

Last year's answer still stands. There are many, many people. The thing is that once you are a part of my life, you will always be, and a part of me will always hope you are doing well, and miss you being here. But with that I add, I may not want the current version of you. I may just be really fond of who and how things used to be.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

That happiness is up to you. You create who you want to be in the world. That you really can cut people from your life if they are toxic to you, and it doesn't mean you hold a grudge. It means you are big enough to know how to let go. I think the biggest thing I'm learning, though is that sometimes, you just have to be brave enough to start over.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"But I found peace with the path I took, as I lay down my head. Crossroads you gotta choose, which way do we win or lose. But every bone in my soul says I sing on through. Cause I believe that I, was born with a song inside of me. Never question why, I just keep on singing these melodies. As time goes by, it's funny how time can make you realize, we're running out of it. On the day that I die, I want to say that I was a man who really lived and never compromised."

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

12.11.13

I've had my heart broken.

I have. Recently, actually. And it's probably one of the the worst pains in the entire world. It feels like all the things keeping you afloat are suddenly just no longer there and you can feel the water rushing to swallow you whole. You are alone and what hurts most is that, if you're best friends with the person you are in love with like I was, you have to learn how to function without your best friend again. The person that has shared special moments, made you smile, known everything about you. And above all, they broke all the trust you had built in them. You trusted that they would keep the promises that they made. Because why would someone promise something if they didn't intend to keep it?

That's where I learned though, that some people really don't understand the promises they are making when they make them. I learned the amazing span of grace. I learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was.

I need you to know that if you have ever had your heart broken, or maybe you're facing some serious heartbreak right now, that you aren't alone. That took me a while to realize too. You feel like the whole world is just going about their business but really people are just as broken as you feel. You just have to be willing to be vulnerable and let them help you. They will help you. People are just waiting for you to reach out your hand.

Fall into grace. I'm going to be doing some more writing about grace here in the near future. I never understood grace very well until recently. That, and love. I never understood the power of another's words. I never realized how deeply the God I had worshiped my whole entire life loved me. It's beautiful and wonderful and intoxicating. It's breathtaking and deep and real and alive. I hope you experience that someday. That intoxicating, glorious love. It's phenomenal and addicting. Loving and being loved by a God that is greater than any fathomable substance has made me an addict. I can't get enough, and I just keep going back for more, more, more. I ache to return to the place where I can be alone in His presence. I long to dive into his overwhelming grace. I wait for the moment when I may rest, when I may be alone with the love that spans generations, an entire species crafted into beautiful beings, all with hearts to love the one who placed them perfectly where they are.

I'm trying to be a better writer. I stumble a lot over the words. There are so many things inside of me longing to be free, to enter the world. I'm one of the crazy ones who believe that words can touch people. So though it may seem sporadic and crazy, please stay with me. We can do this together, this life thing. Dive into the astounding beauty that surrounds us, won't you join me?

All my love,
Sarah

Friday, November 29, 2013

Eleven. Twenty-nine.

I'm made of stars.
Carbon hydrogen and helium
I'm not a scientist, so I couldn't say for certain
But I know about wishes and magic and light
Distance and stories and mystery
I've squeezed my eyes shut many a time
A 'star light, star bright...' wish whispered into a night sky
I'm made of stars.

I'm made of pieces.
Skinned knees and bruised hands
Heart beats resounding hollow trying to hide the mess
Inside clumsily scotch-taped mosaic
Held together by elemers covered fingers
All grown up but really
Five years old trying to hide the cracks
Of a heart that accidentally slipped
Trusted in the hands of someone
Not quite ready to hold it.
I'm made of pieces

I'm made of crumbs.
Christmas eve wishes settling in the bottom of a plateNear a letter and an ice cold glass of milk
Slippered feet illuminated by glowing colors
Lights and ornaments, wreaths and bows
Please, Santa I know I've messed up but I tried...
I'm made of crumbs.

I'm made of bits of poetry.
Words that cut deeper than the surgeon scalpel
When he took out all the bad cells
Stitching me back together in the broken spots
The spots cut open, bleeding, painful
But cut open, deep, to make me better
Make me whole.
I'm made of bits of poetry.

I'm made of eighth notes.
Half notes, quarter, rest
Little beats mixing and twirling
Tutus and ballet slipper feet
Watching the big girls and please please please
Let me dance pretty just like them
Finding my own rhythm to the song
Learning to recognize the song inside my very being.
I'm made of eighth notes.

I'm made of memories.
Flying like birds through department store doors
Their simple way in not so easily reversed
Rattling around inside and finding new places to rest
Causing gasps and sometimes breaks
Other times giggles and 'oh won't this be a story to tell'
Knocking off dust from where it wasn't even noticed
I'm made of memories.

I'm made of prayers.
Words whispered in the good and the bad
Holiday tables surrounded by families
Sunday lunches. Full-churched candle-lit hymns.
Funerals. Hospital beds.
The pleases and the thank yous, the wishes and the wonders.
I'm made of prayers.

I'm made of hope.
The little whisper that says that
When the world lets you down
When you're bruised and heartbroken
When Christmas is over and the magic slips away
When the bad things aren't able to be removed
When the music stops
When the memories fade
When prayers feel like they're sinking into tiles
Hold on.

Because I'm made of rays of sunshine.
Nighttime coming to an end.
New beginning. Another day.
Second chance.
I'm made of sunshine.