Coming Back.

Hello, dear sweet friends of mine.

This blog has seen the effects of a crazy hectic schedule. I apologize for my negligence. It isn't on purpose, I promise. I'm going to try to revamp this a little bit. I might possibly be starting an entire new blog. But I kind of like the things I've got going here. So who knows? It will be interesting to see how I continue to grow beyond the current limits of where I am as a closet writer.

SO many things have happened this semester... this year. It's a lot to catch up on, so I'll spare you the details.

I've been on top of the world and at the bottom of the lowest valleys. I've fought with decisions, searched, and loved. I've looked into the sky and breathed deep the oxygen that continues to flow through my lungs no matter how much weight feels like it is pushing on my very heartbeat. I think, though, that sometimes we need to be reminded what it feels like to have the wind knocked out of you. How else would we remember how sweet it feels when you can breathe freely?

I've been broken. I've loved with all I have, given parts of myself in trust, and had that trust broken in the worst possible way. But I loved. I loved and I gave and I am better for it. I opened my hands and though they were bruised this time, I just have to keep trying. Because love is beautiful. And just because we didn't work doesn't mean we are either of us bad people, but rather we are just different. I tried and the risk I took was calculated, but apparently I'm still very bad at math. I'm still searching out this new place. I'm re-learning the walls, breathing deep the scent, closing my eyes and soaking it in through my pores. Because this place is me. This place is being who I am in the most real and authentic way possible. And that counts for something. It counts for many things.

Through the depths of pain and heartache, I've learned grace. I've learned how to rest in the sweet, sweet beauty that is a God who never leaves. A God whose love spans all heights and depths. Please listen if you hear nothing else from my rambling today: You are beautiful, loved, and completely accepted. No matter how far you've run, no matter how long and wide you think the canyon is between you and God, it is never too far. Allow yourself to rest in grace. Be kind to yourself. Accept the grace he cakes the mountaintops with. It's a beauty that's unparalleled. Trust me.

I will be writing more, I'm feeling out how to make this blog into the blog I'm dreaming about. If you're still here, thank you. I love you and I'm praying that your day is filled with light and grace.

Sarah

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