Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thankfulness. 25, 26, & 27

25. I am thankful for the ability to go to school, even though I am beyond stressed about everything right now.

26. I am thankful for glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.

27. I am thankful for second chances at life. I'm thankful that two people can exist separately in the world, find their own wings, and go forth, and be happy.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thankfulness. 21, 22, 23, & 24.

21. I am thankful for warm showers that relax my muscles. It's such a treat to get to take a shower every day.

22. I am thankful for my ability to learn and go to school. There are a lot of people who can't do that.

23. I am thankful to have the doctors I do. They are always on top of things, making sure I'm okay!

24. I am thankful for my therapist. I've seen her since I was 12, and I love her to death. She couldn't give better advice, and I hope I can become half the person she is some day!


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Thankfulness. 20.

20. I am thankful for people who talk to me when I'm feeling especially lonely and down. I am fairly positive I wouldn't be here without them. Loneliness is a bear to deal with. It's scary, for sure. I'm thankful that I don't have to feel it all the time.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Thankfulness. 17, 18, & 19.

17. I am thankful for my family. I'm so excited to see them over break.

18. I'm thankful for Sarah Nicole. She's the best friend anyone could ever ask for. She's my sister, my confidant, and my rock. I love her to pieces.

19. I'm thankful for my car. She's so cute, and she gets me where I need to go. I'm thankful for her faithfulness to me!


Friday, November 16, 2012

Thankfulness. 16.

16. I am thankful for tumblr, and the community it is, and the fact that it gives me hope for humanity. I am also thankful that I only have ONE LAB LEFT. Then I will be done with Bio 1 labs, and I will be a happy happy girl.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Thankfulness. 14 &15.

14. I am thankful for my roommate. She is freaking amazing. We've become such wonderful friends, and we get along so well. We're pretty much perfect living mates, and she couldn't be a sweeter, more genuine person. Basically, if you don't know Kori, you should get to know her. You'll love her, I have no doubt! (:

15. I'm thankful for all the kids in my life. All the kids that remind me what it means to believe, and to truly believe. Those kids that expect the best out of the world, and defy the odds on a daily basis. I wouldn't be half the person I am today if I didn't have their little eyes to mirror who I want to be in my own life.


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

An Update On Where I Am Today.

Hey, loves. Just wanted to say thanks for not giving up on me here. I know I gave up on posting, but I've missed you guys, and I'm back now, so it's practically perfect.

I think I'm going to be okay after all. Strange, isn't it? How the human soul can bounce back from having your heart completely shattered on the floor in front of you, a lot of the pretty things inside becoming bits and pieces of the messy pile. But it does, with time. It hurts still, a lot. But I'm moving forward. So, I wanted to kind of compile my thoughts as to where I am at this stage in life, as I have quite often on here. So, bare with me, loves. Sorry for this extensive list.

1. I am finally able to breathe again. For the first time in over a month, I can breathe freely. I no longer feel like I have a fifty pound weight attached to me, collapsing my lungs. I've done a lot of soul-searching, and a lot of coming to terms with myself and who I am. And I'm becoming much more comfortable with that person.

2. It's almost Christmas. I'm fully aware that we still have Thanksgiving first, I get that. But, at the same time, IT'S ALMOST FREAKING CHRISTMAS. Our dorm room looks like santa's workshop, and I couldn't be more excited. We might just leave it like this. Because I absolutely cannot be in any sort of bad mood when my room looks this stinking cute.

3. Blake Shelton's Christmas CD= Bliss.

4. I'm re-reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It's my favorite book of all time. The character is exactly like me in so many ways. And it's hard to find someone who gets it. It's hard to find someone who can put into words how it feels to know that your body is turning on itself, but you smile anyways. It's the best book I've ever read, I'm pretty sure. If you  haven't read it, you need to. Like right now. Stop with this silly list and go get the book.

5. I was scared that I lost the five year old Sarah that lived inside me, if you remember what I was talking about in my last list post. But I think decorating for Christmas, and a long one on one with myself did me more good than anything has in a while. I found it. I believe again, and I couldn't be more excited.

6. I'm going to attempt to improve my music and art skills this year some more. I really want to create something substantial.

7. I made a goal list for myself with both short term and long term goals. For anyone that knows me, you know that this is big. Because I hate planning things in advance, due to the fact that it generally ends up disappointing, and the fact that time isn't guaranteed.

8. Marching band was the best decision I ever made. I get to be a part of creating music. How amazing is that?! That humans, who usually don't do too many beautiful things, can pick up this piece of metal, blow into it, and make the most beautiful sounds. Music can explain what I feel when I can't. That's still to date the coolest things about being human.

9. I'm homesick for a place I haven't even been yet. I'm going to take the opportunities that I'm being offered by being at such an amazing school, and I'm going to see as much and experience as much as I possibly can. Definitely foreign, but also within the states. New York? Washington? Who knows. I'm ready, though.

10. I've picked up writing some again. I haven't published anything recent, so no, you didn't just skip it. I'm keeping it on the DL for a while until I decide it's good enough to show. Haha. But I'm also getting back into spoken word poetry. There's a coffee shop up here that hosts poetry nights I think. I might just go and perform some. I've missed it, it's one of the best outlets ever.

11. I'm excited to get started in on real life for a while. I'm ready to go, move forward, no strings attached, and become whoever the heck I want to be. It's going to be epic.

12. I've come to terms with being alone. I'm a people person, so it's not easy for me. I crave intimacy and a relationship where we can share life together. Not necessarily romantically, but just two people willing to invest in each other for the joy of it. But I get that sometimes, you just so happen to not have anyone right beside you. And that's okay. I do my best thinking when I'm alone. I like it quite a lot, actually, this alone thing. But what the kicker is that I don't too much fancy being lonely. And there's a fine line.

13. I thought I wanted to be a poet, but the more I write, the more I realize I want to be a poem more than anything.

14. I need books. Books and books and books. My supply is dwindling down a bit.

15. I am not going to pull away from everyone though I think it would be ultimately easier in the long run. For today, I am sticking it out. I'm going to be in people's lives for as long as I can. Just be warned early that I am a bit of a grenade. And there's really no telling when I will detonate, but just don't be sad when it happens. Just smile, and smile a lot, and move forward.

16. I have a fear of being forgotten. It scares the ever loving crap out of me, and I do a lot of things to attempt to assure that someone thinks of or remembers me. Please do me the favor of never fully forgetting me when I'm gone, okay? Just think of me every now and then. Don't let me die completely right away... keep me around in some stories and memories and things, alright? Thanks.

17. The year is getting ready to end. Already. Can you believe it? It's really almost over. 2012. Then comes January and a chance to start anew. Make new goals, plans, and make it the most freaking exciting time in my life. And I fully intend on doing so. I'm so ready.

18. Life is a good 90% what you make it. Lesson I'm learning right this second.

19. I'm trying to be better about letting people know how much they mean to me. I've cut a lot of toxic people out of my life recently, or have greatly limited my contact with them. I'm so glad. It's nice to know that you can surround yourself with people who only lift you up.

20. Today, I'm alive. And I'm happy. And tomorrow, hopefully, I'll awaken to a day that's even better than today. And I hope you do the same.

I love you guys so much! (:


Thankfulness. 13.

13. I am thankful for the upcoming Christmas season. It is exactly what I needed to pull me out of this funk. Happy Holiday's dear ones!



You are beautiful.
And This one’s for you.
You… The one with big eyes, full of stars.
The dreamer.
The one who searches, hopes, expects, and above all…
The one who loves.
This is for you.
You, my dear one, are beautiful.
The way your eyes shine, and your lungs expand and retract.
The way your wrist extends into your finger tips.
The same finger tips that extend to others when they need a helping hand.
The way your hair falls, and your legs reach out beneath you.
The way your ears are always available to listen when someone needs you.
And The way your arms reach around and give the best, most caring hugs.
You are beautiful.
The way you never give up.
The way you see the best in others,
And the way you are full of second chances.
You are beautiful.
The way you push ahead despite all obstacles.
You are beautiful.
The way you still believe in fairy tales and far off dreams and the way you wear your heart on your sleeve hoping that somehow, someone will see it and say, ‘hey, me too.’
The way you give and give until you have nothing of your own, only pieces and fragments, but you don’t mind because you realize that the more spaces in your stained glass window soul, the more light can come inside.
You are beautiful.
Don’t forget, sweet dreamer, that part of you. Don’t let the world steal it as it tries so hard to make you stop believing.
Don’t let the bitterness steal your joy.
Keep on, love, and never give up.
You are beautiful.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Thankfulness. 10, 11, & 12.

10. I am thankful for my big sister Courtney. She means so much to me.

11. I'm thankful for my little sister Emma. She's my rock. She gets me through so much and I love her more than I could ever begin to explain in words.

12. I'm thankful for today. And the ability to be present in the moment.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Thankfulness. 8 & 9.

8. I am thankful for App State. I am in love with the place I get to call home for the next four years, and all the people it has brought into my life. It's amazing!

9. I am thankful for books and poetry and the ability to read and completely immerse myself in something so beautiful.


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thankfulness. 7.

7. Today I am thankful for the ability to start over. I'm thankful for the fact that my life is my choice, and where I go from here is ultimately all that matters. Onward and upward, here is to the first day of the rest of my life.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Thankfulness. 6.

6. Today I am thankful for the ability to live in the amazing country that I do. I got to vote today. I got to finally participate in what I've been around my whole life. It was one of my favorite moments ever!! I love America. Onward and upward!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Thankfulness. 5.

5. Today, I am thankful for my HG family. They are the best people I've ever met. They love, and care, and accept, and motivate like no other. They really are my best friends, and my number one fans. I can't even imagine being a part of any other group. They've changed my life, given me confidence, and made me the person I am today. I couldn't have been more blessed!!



Sunday, November 4, 2012

Thankfulness. 4.

4. Today I am thankful for my body. Despite its several disfunctional parts, my body has held up pretty dang well. The poor thing has been through a lot, but it keeps on trucking. It gives me the ability to do one of my favorite things of all time, which is dance and exercise. It got me through the insane training this weekend for URec Group Fitness! It breathes, blinks, continues heartbeats, consumes food, smiles, laughs, heals itself... it's amazing. And I'm super lucky to have it!!!


Saturday, November 3, 2012

Thankfulness. 3.

3. I am thankful for my true friends. Circumstances lately have shown me who those people really are, and I couldn't appreciate them more than I do right now. I hope they know I'll always be here for them, too. ♥


Friday, November 2, 2012

Thankfulness. 1 & 2.

I'm a day behind, so I'm doing two. I'll try to keep up for the rest of the month!!

I am thankful for:

1. My family, blood and acquired. I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for them never giving up and never leaving my side.

2. Gummy bears.

Until tomorrow, sweet ones (:

Thursday, November 1, 2012


So, I was a little overdramatic yesterday. Sorry about that. I just really  needed to vent and get it out of my system. Today is much, much better. I am doing okay today. I got to sleep in a bit as I don't have class until 9:30 on Thursdays. And then we had a 30 minute marching rehearsal in the snow, which was hilarious. There were no field markings to guide off of, so it was too funny trying to find where we were supposed to be. Now, I'm safely back in my cozy little dorm room about to take a nap.

Today, I'm taking a break from the majority of the real world. I'm not signing onto facebook or anything like that, and my phone is off. So, if you can't get to me, that's why. It's not because of anything bad per say, it's just that I needed a break from everyone else... a little time to focus in on me.

It's not like today's been a fix-all. I'm still trying to figure a lot of things out right now. But, I'm resting in the hope. I'm focusing in, and finding some peace in the world. Until next time, my loves.

I hope your Thursday has been Terrific!