Struggling.

So I'm not going to lie, I've really been struggling lately. Don't get me wrong, I'm really not trying to complain here. Honestly, I'm SO blessed and thankful for every single second I'm given. I just need to vent a little. It just seems like lately, 7542934057289 things decided to hit all at once (don't worry, I won't put you through having to hear what all is in my brain!), and sometimes I'm not all together sure where to turn. And lets face it, between school and dance and band and work and church... well, there's barely any room to breathe in there, much less take time out to sort through things. So sometimes it feels like all those thoughts and emotions that run through me throughout the day, well they just get stored in some file way in the back of my mind. I simply don't have the time to deal with them at the moment. But then, those filing cabinets can fill up pretty quickly, and when you try to squeeze one more little emotion in there, they fling themselves open, releasing everything all at one time, and all of the sudden everything is right there in your face. It's kind of overwhelming. Am I the only one that feels like that sometimes? It just feels like you work so hard at getting this stupid puzzle to fit together, and while you're so focused on the puzzle itself, the table decides to completely flip out, and all of the sudden, nothing fits where it was anymore. It can be hard, and lonely.

But it's those times when I get so lonely, that I am so thankful to be able to know that I am never truly alone. Even when it feels like everyone has left my side, and I don't have anyone to talk to here, it's no matter. I have a Father in Heaven to love me and hold me when I cry. He hears all of those prayers that fall as tears. He hears those cries in my heart even when I don't have words for them. He knows my hurts, and he cries alongside me. He carries me when I'm unable to walk alone. And it's for that that I will praise him. Even as I struggle, even as I pray through some decisions, I will lift my hands. I will sing hallelujah, even if it's a broken one. Through the hard days, through the times when I fail, I will praise Him. For He is the holy, righteous, worthy, magnificent, living, alpha and omega, prince of peace, mighty, deliverer, Lamb of God. He's the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords. He's my best friend.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is this: Life gets hard sometimes. We all struggle, we all fail, we all must face many things alone. We all cry, we all reach a breaking point. But reaching that point doesn't make you weak. If anything, reaching that breaking point makes you stronger. Being able to let go, to cry when you need to, to be upset if you need to be... that takes more courage than trying to keep it all in. And also, realizing that you must move on from that... that's brave too. But even when you reach those hard moments, especially when you are facing a season of loneliness, turn to God. I know, it seems hard, since you can't actually see or hear Him. But He IS there. I promise. He'll wrap you in His arms and hold you close, provide a comfort that you won't find anyone else, and most importantly: He will heal you and fill you with His love. Pour your heart out to Him, let Him know you if are angry, sad, hurt, upset, whatever. He's waiting to hear. He's waiting to provide everything you'll ever need. Just let Him.

Love,

Sarah